Gaga's 'Born This Way' vs. Britney's 'Hold It Against Me': Which Video Wins?

The gooey egg or the paint-splattered wedding dress? With the recent premieres of Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' and Britney Spears' 'Hold It Against Me,' the two biggest female vocalists in music set themselves up for a diva-off on par with the Britney/Christina pop-tart battle a decade ago.

But like 'Highlander,' there can only be one (OK, not really, but just go with it). To aid your decision on whose video reigns supreme, we've put together a side-by-side comparison of both videos.

We should note if this were a lyrical battle, Gaga would win before the contest even began. Rift Gold Using a tired, third-rate pick-up line -- "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?" Britney coos -- as your chorus and title is lazy and embarrassing. Is Ke$ha going to start asking, "Are you from Tennessee, 'cause you're the only ten I see?" Will Pink be inquiring if we are wearing space underwear because "your ass is out of this world"? You'll probably have an equal chance at the bar with Gaga's opening line -- "This is the manifesto of Mother Monster" -- which is saying very little.

But on to the videos. For help, we enlisted MTV Buzzworthy senior editor and pop music expert Tamar Anitai for some additional insight. Let's break it down:

Location
'Hold It Against Me' takes place on "Earth, 2011," which is somehow different from "Present Day." While the thrust of the video takes place on a photo shoot, Spears' biggest points come from the colossal video dome that looks like the fighting ring from 'Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome' as directed by Oscar de la Renta.

'Born This Way' occupies both outer space and the outer recesses of Gaga's sanity. A colorful and cosmic beginning gives way to drab soundstages, though you can't front on the singer placing her head among a sea of disembodied heads.

Winner: Spears

Costumes
Both singers have the requisite gaggle of semi-nude dancers writhing around, so that's a draw. Spears gets points for the bullet belt and Jackson Pollock'd wedding dress, but Gaga is on some Erykah Badu/Janelle Monae sci-fi queen tip when she's not rocking strategically placed zippers that look like landing strips. Bonus points for the tuxedo/skull ensemble straight out of a 'Karate Kid' Cobra Kai garage sale, proving that melodies aren't the only thing Gaga borrowed from the '80s.

The critic's take: "I loved the jewelry in Britney's video, and the satin-y stilettos. RIFT Platinum Those are things I would actually wear," Anitai tells PopEater. "Whereas I would not actually wear an eyeball on my chin, you know? The zippers on Gaga's no-fly zones made me cringe, but I loved her men's suit. Very Fall 2011!"

Winner: Gaga

Choreography
Like the group of monkeys circling the obelisk in '2001: A Space Odyssey,' both singers have minions dancing around them in adoration and worship. rift gold 'Hold It Against Me' boasts the best fight-dance scene since 'Beat It,' with Britney taking on her doppelganger in some weird 'Mortal Kombat'/Las Vegas showgirl hybrid. 'Born This Way' takes its cue from 'Black Swan,' as the singer and her crew combine the balletic with the bombastic.

The critic's take: "The choreography in Gaga's video feels infinitely stronger, RIFT Platinum but that could be because you see so much of her body, which really emphasizes her dancing," Anitai says. "Teeny-weeny itty-bitty undies, anyone?"

Winner: Gaga

Product placement
This category is like golf: lowest score wins. 'Hold It Against Me' showcases Radiance, Spears' own fragrance, Make Up Forever eye shadow, Sony (Spears' parent company) and dating site Plenty of Fish, the latter making sense in the context of the video because, um, well, for some reason. But when you realize the video's director, Jonas Akerlund, also helmed Gaga's blatant product-boosting video 'Telephone,' things start to make more sense. TERA Gold But Britney is $500,000 richer now, so it all turned out OK.

Gaga's video appears to be free of any product placement, or at least there's nothing as obviously on display as her competitor. Makes sense, though. Not too many unicorn and vaginal gooey egg companies vying for more exposure.